The Royal Tenenbaums

Day 12/192-The Royal Tenenbaums: Starring Gene Hackman and Luke Wilson

NOW! This is a film. So many excellent actors, such a great plot, amazing characters, great ideas, wonderful script and I am now very interested in the work of Wes Anderson.

The Royal Tenenbaums has a massive ensemble cast and no-one under performs. As a comedy it is plenty funny and it has enough of an entertaining story (or several sub-stories) that interest is kept from beginning to end.

If I had my way, each character would be given their own spin-off movie.

The film follows the Tenenbaum family, in particular the children, who have failed to live up to the promise they have showed in earlier years. Chas (Ben Stiller) has become very tightly-wound following the death of his wife and concentrates solely on keeping his kids from harm (with late-night fire drills and such.)

Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow) has stopped writing plays and spends much of her time watching TV in the bathroom and Richie's (Luke Wilson) tennis career has ended in shame.

Worst of all, their father, Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) a succesful litigator in his time, has been disbarred, largely thanks to Chas and is now (apparently) dying.



I can't praise the cast enough, or pick a favourite, each one brings something necessary to the film, from Danny Glover's love rival to Owen Wilson's wannabe Tenenbaum. Nothing hugely dramatic happens in The Royal Tenenbaums but it is removed from reality very slightly by a few components (Royal Tenenbaum's little man-servant Pagoda for example.) This makes for a very unique type of film that allows itself to be funny while letting you build up enough care for the characters before it gives way to any drama.

Arrested Development is one of my favourite TV shows and I would say having seen The Royal Tenenbaums now, that Mitchell Hurwitz must have taken some influence from this film. And why not? Every single character, even the morally corrupt Royal, is both entertaining and emotionally-involving. Margot who seems a million miles away and uninterested still earns a place in our heart as her inner-turmoil is so well portrayed by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Well the picture uploader is broken for the timebeing so I will end with this sentiment. The Royal Tenenbaums is great and like Owen Wilson, I now wish I was one. I thought I would like this film but I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did.

10/10

Cool Runnings

Day 11/192-Cool Runnings: Starring John Candy and Leon Robinson

For a long time Cool Runnings was a film that eluded me. I remember being around 5 years old when I went to see it in the cinema, fell asleep and had never got round to seeing it fully. People I told this story would stop and shout "You haven't seen COOL RUNNINGS?!" I really do not understand why.

As one of many films that I have only recently seen and therefore been unable to fully appreciate (Ghostbusters, Aliens, Back to the Future, etc.) Cool Runnings was one I particularly didn't understand.

I know Cool Runnings is silly and daft but it is lacking in most humour throughout. And just relies on Sanka, who is a bit of an idiot, for laughs.


The storyline being that a group of lads, who have missed out on being sprinters for Jamaica at the Olympics, decide to form a bob-sled team instead. Cue much hilarity in this fish-out-of-water setting.

I can't really be bothered spending any time on this because it was just a bit rubbish and I didn't feel particularly strongly in any way I just would rather not have watched it. So I'll just give it 4/10 and move on to the next film.

4/10

Star Trek

Day 10/192-Star Trek: Starring Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine

I had really wanted to see this when it first came out. Circumstances aligned against me as is often the case and I missed my chance. However, Sky Anytime has redeemed itself from the debacle of Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus with this sci-fi spectacular which I thought was everything a blockbuster could, and should be.

Star Trek that is, not MSvGO.

This is basically an origin story of the early days of the Enterprise, centred around James T. Kirk (Chris Pine) and his rise from annoying upstart to captain material. Meanwhile the Remulons (fronted by Eric Bana) are out for revenge against Spock (Quinto) for destroying their planet.

There is also some time-travel alternate universe stuff going on (this is helmed by JJ Abrams after all) and a really pathetic almost non-attempt at a love story.


I'm aiming to keep things short on this one as I'm aiming to head out on this fine Saturday evening, and that is easy to do as this is a very straightforward film.

Spock lends himself to some great comedy with his Vulcan character trait of all logic and no emotion being perfect for deadpan gag after another and it doesn't wear thin. Chris Pine as James T. Kirk plays the cocky rookie to perfection with just the right level of humble and confidence in equal measures. Eric Bana hams it up quite nicely as Nero and Zoe Saldana gives way to some early promise to become a pretty-face in the background (albeit a very pretty one.)

All I would say is that this film suffers in its nature of being an origin story. Too many characters jammed in and not explored properly with Simon Pegg's Scotty no more than a cameo, this is somewhat of a letdown. But the other side of that is that, as was the case with Batman Begins, we could be in store for a very high quality sequel and I for one, based on the huge promise of this showing, am very excited about that.

7/10

(500) Days of Summer

Day 9/192-(500) Days of Summer: Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel

(500) Days of Summer begins by telling us that this is not a love story, but a story about love, which is very fitting. This film, through an excellent script and superb performances by Gordon-Levitt and Deschanel, may be enough to dispel all romantic notions you may still hold on to. Or it may reinforce them further, it is a film that lets you make a choice.

The story follows Tom Hansen (Gordon-Levitt) a romantic by nature, who believes that there is a "one" out there for him. When he meets Summer (Deschanel) he is convinced that she is the one and falls head over heels. But Summer is the child of a broken marriage and doesn't believe in love or "ones" or even relationships. So Tom sets about trying to change her mind, or at least enjoying the ride while he is there.

The (500) in the title refers to the timespan of their time together, some good,some bad, but an excellent storytelling device. By jumping back and forth through time, we can see in an instant where things have gone sour and the contrast from the beginning of their relationship, to when things have gone off the boil.



The dialogue at times is fantastic, particularly from Tom's little sister, who tells him Summer isn't the one "just because she likes all the same weird crap as him." Tom's romantic delusions are very realistic, as any romantic man will tell you, and every time his feelings for Summer are dealt a blow, you will feel like you are right there next to him, which is a credit to all involved.

Summer herself at times comes across as cold, but it is impossible to hold her feelings against her as she is very clear about how she feels and from being in the audience we have the benefit of being able to see that everything isn't quite clicking in the way that Tom imagines. This is made perfectly clear in a brilliant scene where the screen is split into Tom's expectations on one side, and the reality on the other.



I think this is a great film and one I will watch many times again, it is funny enough to be considered good comedy and the love-story is unique and entertaining. The corresponding scenes where Tom talks about his thoughts on Summer's hair, teeth and birth-marks will resonate with anyone who has been in a doomed relationship and the complete sense of injustice you will leave with as Tom meets Summer on a bench on day 500 will take you back to certain points in your own life.

And that is what makes this film such a success, it comes from the heart and is so real it is impossible not to feel some sense of attachment. In depicting an almost, but not-quite perfect relationship, they have captured a very human story with just the right level of kitsch and at no point do we stop caring about what happens to the characters.

9/10

Whatever Works

Day 8/192-Whatever Works: Starring Larry David and Evan Rachel Wood

Whatever Works was on my radar for a good while. I love Larry David even though I haven't seen a huge amount of Curb and the two Woody Allen films I have seen (Annie Hall and Vicky Cristina Barcelona) were terrific. When I first saw the trailers for this film I was very excited indeed. And it wasn't half bad.

But it certainly wasn't great either.

Whatever Works centres on Boris Yellnikoff (David) an obsessed and panic stricken genius with a very low opinion of the human race and the world in general. Occasionally stopping to talk to the camera, most of the screentime is filled with his rants and put-downs. His life changes when a young runaway named Melody (Wood) comes up to his home for some food and ends up staying a while.

Melody starts to fall for Boris despite their remarkable differences and she settles into life in New York, getting a job and becoming a permanent fixture in Boris's house. Boris begins to warm to her after his initial concerns and soon enough they are married.

The film is great up until Melody's mother arrives on the scene and the focus is taken away from the main characters. Before that though, Boris's sheer contempt for the world becomes a little grating as he continues to insult Melody, who is too sweet to hold it against him. He is at times very funny though, particularly in the scenes where he is teaching chess lessons, but overall it can be a bit much.



In the end the film diverts from any of the initial interest for a good 30 minutes and reverts back just to tie everything up. A side-story involving Melody's dad is jammed in with no real relevance.

Evan Rachel Wood is fantastic though as she breathes life into a character who just serves as fodder to Boris's put-downs. The way she manages to keep her patience with him as well as smiling and keeping interested in learning from him, despite his arrogance, is charming. She is so removed from it all at times she reminds me of Amy Adams in Enchanted.



So Whatever Works is funny and does echo of earlier Woody Allen but is lacking in certain areas. Perhaps the script is more dated than it seems on the surface (having been around for about 33 years) though most of the cast do a great job, but the plot jerks around too much in the last 40 minutes so much that by the end we have lost all interest.

6/10

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

Day 7/192- Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus: Starring a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus

I am a little bit lost for words having seen this film. Looking through the highly valuable service that is Sky Anytime for films to watch I came across Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, I thought to myself, "isn't that that film where a Mega Shark eats the Golden Gate Bridge?" It is.

What I think happened is this: a team of scientists went looking for something in the ocean, but they went off course and accidentally uncovered two prehistoric behemoths. A really big shark and an octopus, which was quite large as well.

By now you are probably thinking: "how bad is it?" "Is it funny while being bad?" "Who wins?" And "Why would anyone pay money for Sky Anytime?" I have the answers for most of those questions.



To be honest, it is hilarious. The acting is beyond dreadful, it features some of the best one-liners since the days of Arnold Schwarzeneger and the special effects are probably the worst I have ever seen. Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus was only made last year but it instantly looked about 20 years out of date.

At 90 minutes long, it will probably test your patience and it is by no means worth your while to hang around to see the final 'clash' which is just pathetic. In fact, and this seems a bit redundant, but once you have seen the Mega Shark jump 40,000 feet into the air to eat a plane, you have pretty much seen it all.



I say watch it, switch your brain off and enjoy it for what it is, one of the worst movies ever made. In all seriousness, it should be applauded for the powerful environmental message contained as Emma McNeil declares that a plane-eating shark and a ship-destroying octopus are our "comeuppance for melting the polar ice-caps."

It doesn't even look as though anyone involved is aware of the film that they are in and that just makes it even better, and the straight face that grey-haired scientist keeps as he says "they finally finished what they started...18 million years ago" makes it all worthwile.

And who does win? Well I'll let you sit through that one to find out.

4/10

Gentlemen Broncos

Day 6/192-Gentlemen Broncos: Starring Jemaine Clement and Michael Angarano

The films of Jared Hess should be viewed as the perfect example of the law of diminishing returns. First of all we had Napoleon Dynamite: a quirky, surreal comedy that gave us a new kind of hero and caught us all off-guard. Second we had Nacho Libre, which showed signs that Hess's approach to film was becoming tired. Now, fresh from the brain of that same man, we have Gentlemen Broncos, which save for a hilarious performance from Jemaine Clement, is a complete and utter mess.


It is in no way absurd to ask how this film was even made. Gentlemen Broncos is self-aware, pretentious, it tries too hard to be unconventional and is not only unfunny, but very nearly unwatchable.

So, Gentlemen Broncos is about Benjamin(Angarano), a young science-fiction writer who travels to attend Cletus Fest in an effort to meet his all-time hero, Chevalier(Clement). Chevalier invites all of the students at the festival to submit their entries for a competition he is running for emerging young writers. But when Chevalier finds out that his last book has been rejected by the publishers, he comes across Benjamin's entry "Yeast Lords" and steals it for himself.



I would probably recommend this film if it was ten minutes long and just featured all of the parts with Chevalier, but as it is the film is littered with plenty of completely abhorrent characters and feels about nine hours long.

Gentlemen Broncos manages to fit in jokes about excrement, vomit, testicles and transsexuals and is at times as disgusting as it is lacking in humour. Incredibly childish when it goes for laughs directly and when trying to sandwich them in without you noticing, it seems as if Hess has just forgotten what it was that was funny about Napoleon Dynamite and has gone for a 'hit and hope' approach to comedy and it is very clear that this has not paid off.

In the other world segments that feature Sam Rockwell as Bronco, depicting Benjamin's novel "Yeast Lords", it begins to look promising but that is quickly removed by nonsensical mutterings and downright awful direction.



I think I may now be ready to give up on Jared Hess as a filmmaker and it astounds me that so many of his supporters are still calling this a good film. It is definitely in the top five worst films I have seen this year and it could be a potential Wolfman beater for the number one spot. Awful.

2/10