Lower Learning

Well the 192 isn't happening. No matter! Today's film is Lower Learning starring Jason Biggs and Rob Corddry.

Why this film as a return to reviewing? Well in personal terms I had a brief spell of film apathy where even looking at a DVD case made me tired. I cannot explain it and it was difficult but I think things are on the up. Do not be confused though, it had little to do with this film. In fact quite the opposite, this film was so awful I felt that people needed to be warned just in case, like me, they thought "Oh, that's Lou from Hot Tub Time Machine." Don't think that. It's still true, but that just makes it even more upsetting to watch Lower Learning.

So here's the plot. Jason Biggs is the Vice-Principal at Geraldine Ferraro Elementary School, which is the worst school in the state. Thanks, in no small part, to Rob Corddry's reign as Principal. So when an inspector comes in the form of Eva Longoria, it is almost certain that the school will be closed. But when it becomes clear that Corddry is trying to sabotage the school for financial gain, teachers and pupils at the school band together to stop the rot.

Lower Learning is a very lazy film. There are lots of half-baked ideas floating around, unnecessary characters and sub-plots and the main storyline just gets more and more nonsensical until, at some point during the film, you will stop and realise that you simply could not care less about what happens to the kids or their ridiculous teachers, particularly the extremely irritating turtle-loving guy.



I have decided that the director, while making this film, probably just had so many ideas that he couldn't decide which to keep and which to ditch so we end up with a sort of scattergun approach to comedy. Jason Biggs is a teacher, but what if his dad was a cop? And he wanted to be a cop, but failed? And he also loves Eva Longoria, because they went to high school together? But she is some sort of drug-addict as well for no reason. So they should both join together and save the school because. . . well I think that's where ran out of ideas. Throw in an unfunny recurring joke that is unfunny from the beginning, no less than three boring love stories and a very stupid ending and you have Lower Learning.

The one good idea that the film follows through with is Rob Corddry and his complete abuse of the school pupils. While the classrooms fall apart, his office is filled with antiques and fine liquor. He fetches kids out of class to be his caddy for golf in the playground. The best moment of the film comes when he decides to make the school band follow him around and play at his command. But that is one of maybe three genuine laughs in this inexplicably dreadful film.



When I say inexplicable I don't mean "How is it possible for a film featuring Jason Biggs and Kyle Gass of Tenacious D to go so wrong?" I mean how on earth did half of these actors agree to be in it? And how did it get made? Did anyone read the script? It's not even as if it is driven by the kids like School of Rock and the actors can take a backseat. It's all up to them and they are all bad. Please avoid this film.

3/10

Toy Story 3

Day 22/192-Toy Story 3: Starring Tom Hanks and Tim Allen

My favourite people in the world of cinema are the people who work at Pixar. They work so hard to ensure that the quality of their films always comes before box-office success or even the implementation of new technology. So when it was announced that Toy Story 3 was going ahead, there was no doubt in my mind that they would only do if it if they felt they could do it justice, and that they most certainly did.

Unrivaled in technical terms, and still streaks ahead with their characters and ideas, the team at Pixar continue to craft stories that manage to delight adults and children alike and with the Toy Story franchise, that now spans a 15 year timeline since we first met Woody and Buzz, they have once again left the competition in their wake, with Toy Story 3 quite possibly the best one so far.

Toy Story 3 sees Andy all grown up and ready to go to college. He is clearing out his room when his mom offers him three options of what to do with his toys: take them to college, stick them in the attic or donate them to Sunnyside Daycare. After a mix-up all of the toys end up in the box marked Sunnyside, and Woody (Hanks) is desperate to get the gang back home, before Andy is gone.

But after a quick tour of Sunnyside, courtesy of Lotso Huggin' Bear and his faithful concierge Ken, the toys, who haven't been played with for years, are beginning to think that a new lease of life may not be so bad. Woody is not convinced and makes a break for it, leaving Buzz (Allen) and all the rest behind. After being picked up by a little girl outside, he travels home with her where he learns the truth about Sunnyside and has to make a choice between going it alone, or going back to save his friends.



Toy Story 3 is superb. For a film that manages to introduce so many new characters, each serving a purpose and none of them forgettable, just shows the commitment that Lee Unkrich has to giving the story the consideration it deserves. Everyone from Mr. Pricklepants, the thespian hedgehog, to Bonnie, the next generation of toy owner, is a joy to watch and even the existing characters are given new dimensions such as the green Army Men retiring from duty and a rejuvenating reset for Mr. Lightyear.

In particular, the introduction of Ken, the clothes-loving, well-groomed girl's toy, is a revelation. Voiced by Michael Keaton, Ken provides the biggest and best laughs throughout and is probably one of the most memorable performances of the year. Lotso is a welcome introduction as well and the way the writers have managed to develop such an in-depth character like Lotso over the course of 103 minutes is a real achievement.

The film will make you glad that you've got your 3D glasses on because within the first ten minutes you'll probably be getting emotional. Toy Story 3 captures perfectly the notion of growing up, watching Andy's home videos will bring a huge smile to your face and may give way to stronger emotions.



And that is what is key about Toy Story 3, you will never stop smiling. I had a grin on my face for the duration and even in my more emotional moments, I was still smiling. It is a well-told story, visually stunning, hilarious, devastating and in the end a completely satisfying end to what must now be the best trilogy of all time? It may even leave you thinking that there could be another, but with everything tied up perfectly and such an affirmative end, it's probably best to stop there.

With the ending leaving tears in your eyes and your stomach sore from laughing as you leave the cinema, you will no doubt remember this as a classic to show your own kids, after you've made a trip to the attic to apologise to all your old toys of course.

10/10

The Road to El Dorado

Day 21/192-The Road to El Dorado: Starring Kenneth Brannagh and Kevin Kline

Having just made my way through the Uncharted games for the Playstation 3, this grabbed my fancy from that old familiar friend: Sky Anytime.

The Road to El Dorado sees idiot con-men Tulio and Miguel (Kline and Brannagh) as they win a map to the fabled city of gold, "El Dorado" in a backstreet game of dice. When it is discovered they are cheating, they are forced to flee and find themselves on a boat and are told when it shores they will become slaves for the rest of their lives. So they jump off on a raft (stealing a horse in the process) and make a break for it.

Just as they are about to give in, the raft turns up on the beach, in El Dorado. When the locals find them, Tulio and Miguel are braced for death, but the citizens of El Dorado are convinced that the two men are in fact Gods, and must be worshiped. But the high-priest has a feeling that their new Gods may not be who they claim to be, given their lack of enthusiasm for human sacrifice.



I know that no-one really wants to see my thoughts on El Dorado but I can't afford to waste time on films and not reviewing them, and either way it's actually quite a good film.

Tulio and Miguel are nothing if not likable. Classic movie double-act material but neither has much depth, for the whole movie to revolve around the two of them is a rather big ask, too much of an ask at times, but they have the charisma factor to pull it off for the most part.

The whole film though enjoyable just seems to play out like a TV Movie with a lack of real spectacle, and little to nothing in originality. Unless you count the obvious gay undertones in the film.



Now that all sounds bad, but it's really not, it's just not, great. It is funny and none of the characters do anything unexpected, the film turns out exactly the way you would expect, but it's still enjoyable to watch that happen. I wouldn't be shouting from the rooftops that you should watch this film, but you could do a lot worse.

If you liked Pocahontas or Aladdin, you'd probably enjoy this, just so long as you know it won't change your life, and I'm sure you do.

6/10

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Day 20/192-The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo: Starring Michael Nyqvist and Noomi Rapace

The second installment in my "Swedish Films Concerning Sexual Abuse Season" is The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, based on the bestselling novel by Stieg Larsson.

Of course that is not my theme but just a massive coincidence, another fortunate coincidence seems to be that those Swedes sure can make films.

The first of the trilogy, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo introduces us to Mikael Blomkvist (Nyqvist), a journalist who has been sentenced to jail for his failed exposing of corrupt businessman, Wennerstrom. Blomkvist is contacted by Henrik Vanger, a wealthy man who believes his niece Harriet's disappearance, 40 years ago, may be linked to a series of horrific murders committed around that time.

Blomkvist sets about investigating when he finds his computer is being hacked by someone else, Lisbeth Salander. (Rapace) Instead of getting angry he welcomes her help and the pair set about investigating the murders as well as the mystery behind the Vanger family.



The film sort of plays out like The Da Vinci Code, if The Da Vinci Code was done well. The twists and the clues, though never hugely shocking are enough to keep the murder story interesting, if nothing revolutionary. The real story here is Lisbeth's though, emotionally crippled by some unexplained events from the past, the further in we get the more confused we become by her actions, looking for justification that comes in satisfying drips and drabs, but is never fully realised.

It is a rare film in that it excels in the fact that is the first of a pre-planned trilogy. Safe in the knowledge that it doesn't have to give too much away, and wrap anything up, it gives a greater sense of mystery that when you are awaiting for a big recap of Lisbeth's back-story, it doesn't come when you think it will, leaving us very eager for The Girl Who Played With Fire.



This was another film I missed in the cinema, mostly because it was only shown very late at night. This isn't at all difficult to understand having seen it now, as it does have some rather graphic moments of varying kinds of violence. Mostly rather startling and never out of place, it is hard to talk about these moments without spoiling the story, but it is in some of these early moments where the film really establishes itself and its characters.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is now scheduled for a 2011 US remake, but there is no need to wait until then as this film will be hard to top, at least until The Girl Who Played With Fire is released. Not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach, but a brave and bold thriller that manages to remember to include a plot as well as motorcycle chases and fire, lots of fire.

8/10

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Day 19/192-The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Starring Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

I sit here at 7:14am in the staff room at work trying to squeeze in reviewing time because I must start breaking down the backlog if this project is to be a success. So here we go with Eclipse, the third movie in the money-spinning literary adaptation of the Twilight Saga.

Following on from the events of its predecessors, Eclipse sees sulky teen Bella (Stewart) happily going steady with the love of her life Edward Cullen (Pattinson) who happens to be a 107 year old vampire. But this is Twilight and, of course, it can never be plain sailing for these two. Unexplained murders in Seattle and one missing boy in particular, Riley Beers, have got the authorities, and the Cullens concerned.

Eclipse is where the Twilight Saga begins to find its feet, and is helped along by a much more defined book in terms of plot direction and character development. Whereas in the first book the villains just seemed to be thrown in for some drama at the end, here none of that matters as the main focus is on Bella's struggle to accept that she must choose between Edward and Jacob.

The action scenes are well-implemented and a particular highlight shows Jasper, who is much more of a presence (thankfully) in this film, training the vampires and the wolves how to fight the incoming threat from Seattle. The vampires do strike a little bit of fear now that the CGI has been improved, but the wolves are still as boring as ever.



This is where I stumble into negative territory on this film. Taylor Lautner is not a great actor, or maybe he is but it does not show here. He is fine in the scenes where he is laughing it up, but he lacks the dramatic chops to elevate the emotional reaction required from the audience, and will certainly not be recruiting any new Team Jacob members on this performance.

The problem that I have with the Twilight Saga is that every new threat that is posed upon the Cullens is met with the same reaction of fear and worry, then inevitably is overcome within seconds. The same happened in the first film with James, who Bella could have probably beaten herself, and in New Moon, the Volturi are just pathetic.


As someone who has read the first three books and is working his way through Breaking Dawn, I feel well placed to say that yes it is a fairly accurate depiction of Eclipse, maybe too much so with certain elements that remained intact (Switzerland, anyone?) But the characters in this film just mope and mope, at one point Rosalie takes a hissy fit and goes to her bedroom, simply so that she can look out of the window with an annoyed expression. Everyone in the Twilight Saga seriously needs to lighten up.

There are moments of camera-winking humour, which are well-appreciated from a male perspective and David Slade manages to inject a little bit of danger with the Riley Beers scenario, but not enough that we ever feel the Cullens are in any trouble. I feel the film could have been a lot better if it had focused just a little more on Bella's realisation of what becoming vampire will mean, one of the best scenes in the film shows her crying with Mom.

But that would not be to serve the fans' best interests and the film, if not a lot else, certainly does that. If i were a TwiHard I couldn't see myself giving less than 11/10 but as that is not the case from a purely critical standpoint I must award the following marks, and begin to wonder how they can possibly milk Breaking Dawn into two parts.

5/10

The Incredible Hulk

Day 18/192-The Incredible Hulk: Starring Ed Norton and Tim Roth

Sometimes, I go out and I get drunk, and sometimes, in the morning, I watch films. Today, on this morning, of all the films I could have watched, I watched The Incredible Hulk, now if you do read this and are thinking "Oh The Incredible Hulk, I haven't seen that, might be worth a watch" Then you must heed these words of warning: The Incredible Hulk is shit.

Now let's be clear, I'm still a bit drunk, but that does not excuse The Incredible Hulk from being one of the most misguided, wrong-footed attempts at a comic-book film. Trapped somewhere between Dark Knight and Spiderman, The Incredible Hulk gets it all wrong, CGI heavy, plenty of actors in the wrong roles and... well the list goes on and on.

The plot sees Bruce Banner (Ed Norton) in exile after his "incident" trying to find a cure, while living his life in a factory in Brazil. Through correspondence with a mystery figure on his computer he begins to think there might be a way to rid himself of his inner hulk. With mounting pressures from the army and a rival Hulk (in the form of Tim Roth) growing, Bruce must learn to utilise his powers in order to stop this Abomination.



I'm not sure how anyone else feels but I think The Hulk, in cinematic terms, is an abysmal character. No emotion or soul, a lumbering idiot, so much so that the script has forced him to attempt dialogue which just makes it even worse. When you look at a film like King Kong which makes no secret of the fact that its protagonist is a giant monkey, how does Hulk get it so wrong?

With the recent news that Norton has been dropped from The Avengers, it makes me wonder who could do a better job, but Norton does get Banner all wrong. In my research of comic-book film, I watched Ultimate Avengers: The Movie and in that feature, Tony Stark was different, but very much suited to Robert Downey Jr's portrayal. In Hulk, Banner lacks the depth and emotional turmoil required.

Because, when you are dealing with such an emotionally void character as the Hulk, you need his alter-ego to provide everything that he cannot. Whether the director has missed this point or whether Norton had grown tired with what is undoubtedly a miserable, lazy script is irrelevant because the end result is the same.



So to sum up, I didn't much care for The Incredible Hulk. Completely unaware of what makes The Incredible Hulk entertaining, this is just a complete misfire in almost every way. It makes me eager to go back and watch the Ang Lee version to see which is worse but from what I have read it will be a close call.

4/10

Inception

Day 17/192-Inception: Starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Marion Cotillard

It is a credit to the good body of work that Christopher Nolan has already built up that Inception has gathered the hype that we have seen already. Ordinarily, a film about dream extractors and architects designing within the realms of the subconscious doesn't exactly sound like your standard Summer blockbuster. But such is Nolan's meticulous and loving approach to film, Warner Bros have given him every backing in making Inception the film he wanted to make. They have not been let down.

So the story goes that Cobb, (DiCaprio) the world's greatest extractor, has been tasked with the impossible; Inception. While normally Cobb delves deep into the mind to extract one's deepest secrets and ideas, it has been suggested that if there was enough skill and preparation involved someone could plant an idea in someone's brain and convince them it was their own.

So Cobb sets about putting a team together for the fabled Inception, with the promise that if he completes the job, he can finally go home. So he puts together the components of his team and gets to work, but as the remnants of his past and familiar memories from his subconscious seek to destroy him, can he plant the idea before it's too late?



Inception is not just a good idea, it is a fully realised, perfectly executed film. Every little detail is in place to reinforce something we have already learned, every new element introduced furthers the story, the characters and the mechanics of the dream-layered world. When a train comes thundering down a busy city street, you can rest assured there is a perfectly good reason, in fact you'd probably be annoyed if it didn't.

The dream ideas lend themselves to some excellent narrative devices, such as the fact that the further into dreams you go, the more time seems to have passed. 20 seconds in reality is a day in a dream, in a dream within a dream, well you get the idea. In this sense, the time it takes to push a button, can be the same amount of time it takes to have a fully-realised shoot-out in the snow, while others roam for days in barren wastelands and it is all completely plausible.

It's not all just flash and CGI, what lies underneath is a perfectly crafted, unique and involving film. Though with all the exposition going on, there isn't a huge amount of time dedicated to character development, that is forgiven, particularly when the character who does recieve a bit of time, Cobb, holds our interest right up to the end, while Ariadne (Ellen Page) serves as our man in the field as the audience, sneaking into Cobb's dreams and showing us the details of his past that we would otherwise be unable to see, making him endearing and furthering our involvment in his cause.



Inception will sit in your brain for a long time after the credits roll, I for one had a rather strange dream last night! But it is the open ending that will leave debates raging for years. It is testament to the script that every tiny hole can be explained away and patched right up again, no stone is left unturned and when you consider that at times in this film we are simultaneously shown the deep subconscious mind of four different people in the form of varying locations and circumstances, Nolan has done a fantastic job to keep it all together.

It is definitely not over-complicated considering the subject matter and is instead rewarding viewing, as you invest in the characters, when they decide to go deeper, you can share with them a fleeting feeling of excitement giving way to dread and you feel very much at their side.

A lesser filmmaker could have made this film with no regard for the audience but that is where Nolan's strength lies. He has made a deep, involving, labyrinthine story which is heavy on exposition and high on conversation fodder. You get the feeling as you leave the cinema that Inception will be a film to remember and one we will be talking about for a long time to come.

10/10